Someone sat down and said to themselves, “You know what slasher movies need more of? Raves. And French people!” And then they made this movie, and managed to find enough money to hire both that cute chick from A Knight’s Tale, and multi-platinum pop singer Pink, masquerading under some silly fake name that her parents probably gave her. Pfft. Pshh. Whatever.
Victoria is a neurotic student. Her sister Carolyn is a hard-partying…actually I think that’s her occupation. She has followed the path of Andrew W.K. Anyway, she lives in France and invites Victoria to come stay with her. Carolyn takes Vic to a rave in the necropolis beneath Paris, and Vic gets separated from the group, being chased through the tunnels by a goat-skull-wearing fiend who was supposedly birthed by an incest rape within the Cult of the Black Virgin to create the Antichrist.
Since the Antichrist is supposed to have Satanic powers and be charming and lead the world’s militaries against God, and this guy just grunts and howls and kills people with an ax. He’s not so much the Antichrist as a French Jason Voorhees with a cooler mask. Still, the scenes depicting his creation are definitely the highlight of the movie.
There are a lot of strobe lights in this movie, and probably more cuts than a Michael Bay flick. You just about need a welding mask to look at the damn thing, and that gets pretty fucking irritating after a while. Couple that with waaaaaaaay too much running around in the tunnels and screaming (being lost in the corpse-filled sub-basement of a foreign city is pretty damn scary, but you can only see a girl run down the same tunnel so many times without the luster of fear wearing off), and you have a flawed but fun slasher flick.
Then we come to the end, which pissed me off for a couple of minutes and then totally redeemed itself. You see, Carolyn and her friends really aren’t dead, and there is no goat-faced serial killer (which pretty much makes the opening scene of a random girl getting killed by him make no sense). The whole thing was a prank to bring Victoria out of her shell. Except, oops, she accidentally whacked one of Carolyn’s friends with a pickax because she thought he was a marauding monster. Carolyn freaks out on Victoria for being a spaz, which I feel is just the slightest bit unfair since you retards JUST ENGINEERED THE LAST FEW HOURS OF HER LIFE MAKING HER THINK SHE WAS BEING CHASED BY A DERANGED MUTANT SERIAL KILLER. This pissed me off, and I was going to drop the flick’s rating down to a zero for this shitty, shitty piece of writing which I’ve seen in other movies and has always infuriated me. But then, as if in a huge middle finger to those other movies which use this idiotic dramatic device, Victoria BRUTALLY SLAUGHTERS CAROLYN AND THE REST OF HER FRIENDS WITH THE PICKAX! Fuck yes! She is in total control of her faculties, she’s not delusional, she’s just fucking pissed off that these idiots blame her for all the shit they pulled. Goddamn, if I could take a pickax and brutally slaughter everyone who ever pissed me off, the trail of blood would be visible from space.
Fun but flawed little slasher flick, definitely worth a shot of you’re into the genre. Just remember to bring that welding mask.
Moral of the Story: Do not taunt your audience with a Satanic goat-faced serial killer if you’re not going to deliver one. Otherwise, a cute girl will kill you with a pickax.
