Made in the tradition of The Animatrix (both in that it's a series of short stories based around popular franchise films and an animated attempt at cashing in on said franchise films), Batman: Gotham Knight offers up to fans of the big black bat something to not only satiate their thirsts until The Dark Knight kicks down the doors of theaters worldwide, but to put down a G.I. Joe Bridge Layer sized connection between the events of the epic blockbuster-to-be and its predecessor Batman Begins... because apparently, despite punching its time clock for over 2 1/2 hours of overtime, that's still not enough time for The Dark Knight to give us the Cliff Notes on what we're about to see.

The first yarn of this fanboy sweater-vest is “Have I Got A Story For You”. Taking a cue from one of the nerd-service-iest episodes of the Batman 'toon, “Legends of the Dark Knight” (which took a grin-inducing jab at Batman butt-hugger Joel Schumacher), four Gotham City skater brats regale each other with their various skewed “run-ins” with the town's cowled protector. The first tells of Bats as a ninja-walloping demon that literally melts into the shadows, the second sees the dark knight as more of a Man-Bat mutation escapee from the Dr. Moreau's summer home (who decapitates a jet pack ninja!... kinda), and numero tres says pointy ears is Gotham's answer to Tony Stark, industrial strength long johns and all. While the fourth of the quartet doesn't have anything to add, the real Batman and his errant ninja enemy coincidentally brawl their way through the kids' skate park... and we finally hear that Kevin Conroy voice I've sorely missed since the end of “Justice League Unlimited” in '06.

Tale #2 is a more traditional Batman spin called “Crossfire”. Giving a little something extra to fans of Gotham's increasingly popular supporting cast of recent years, this one shines some spotlight on Gotham City PD partners Crispus Allen (voiced by the oft publicly intoxicated Gary Dourdan, aka “the black dude from 'CSI'”) and Anna Ramirez... instead of Allen's usual partner Renee Montoya... for some reason... The duo have the impossible misfortune of getting themselves dropped into the middle of a random gang war. One side of which couldn't hit the Chrysler Building with an aircraft carrier and other of which would bring bazookas to a pie fight. Allen learns there are certain benefits to having a masked vigilante with an unhealthy obsession for spooking bad guys creeping through the rooftops of your city... and that he himself can manage to leap from a third story balcony without so much as a sprained ankle.

“Field Test” comes in as story the third, with bat toy tinkerer Lucius Fox going all Q with some new additions to Bruce Wayne's crime stopper gear, some of which he uses in intense brain-splattering scenes where he cheats at a charity golf tournament. Ooo... ahhhh... yay. Batman then uses his new hardware to facilitate a “real estate” dispute between more gangsters, then coming to a moral crossroads when it comes to putting himself and the guys he beats up into mortal danger. He might not have such a big problem is he didn't have a guilt complex the size of the Rio Grande bleeding out of his heart. If bad guys play with guns, they're negligible for their own health. Bah.

Fourth in line of this four color anthology is “In Darkness Dwells”, which brings back Allen and Ramirez along with Bat fan Jim Gordon (albeit briefly) as they investigate a mysterious mass hallucination at a Gotham church. The congregation all swear to having seen an 8ft tall lizard man out for blood, but I'd guess this is actually the story that's going to show us what Scarecrow's been up since we saw him last trying to poison the city's water supply. A little wading through rivers of feces proves I'm only half right though, when the caped crusader also comes face-to-fists with Rogues Gallery alumni Killer Croc... as in “crocodile”, not “crock pot”. However, that does give me an idea for that superhero parody comic I've been working on the last 15 years...

Chapter five of these grim fairy tales (har har) is “Working Through Pain”, wherein Batman gets himself shot in the stomach and has to drag his increasingly weakening ass out of the labyrinth of sewer tunnels, all the while reliving crucial moments of his life as a young man developing into a tights wearing poster boy for rich people taking the law into their own hands. He patches up the wounded while volunteering in war torn Africa, then he watches a cobra take revenge on a mongoose for the bad press his species got in Rikki-Tikki Tavi and also learns spirituality and pain management in India from an outcast. There's a little more existentialism by the end of this story than I could grasp. What I can grasp is the dandruff resulting from scratching my head over it though, and that's kinda gross. It looks like a blizzard just threw up all over my keyboard.

Finally, we get to the sirloin in this six course meal with our final installment, “Deadshot”. Why? The name says it all, as I've been waiting to see its titular character outside of the confines of illustrated boxes for years! In a stark contrast to Bruce Wayne's disdain for firearms, he gets into a fight with a super assassin whose trade and namesake are all about the stuff. One man's weakness is another man's fetish, and when Lieutenant Gordon turns out to be Deadshot (or is it “Dead Shot”?)'s next hit, a confrontation with the dark knight is inevitable. A confrontation that includes BATMAN PUNCHING A BULLET OUT OF THE AIR! That's the kinda shit you usually only hear about Chuck Norris or Vin Diesel doing! Does the man who never misses clip our hero's wings, or will the antagonist's latest job turn into one big misfire? With puns like that, you know it's gotta be good!

Gotham Knight is fairly well written for being an anthology. It's a good introduction to casual fans looking to add a little meat to their bare bones Batman understanding. There are spots of the hero's roots, motivations, personality, and the perceptions other people in his little Gotham world have of him. Unlike the directors of the various tales (who are all no name Japanese guys so TimeWarner could save some scratch), the writers are all known in the comic world with former Batman comic scribes Greg Rucka (“Crossfire”) and Brian Azzarello (“Working Through Pain”) joining comic movie screenplay writer David Goyer (“In Darkness Dwells”), longtime DC animation writer Alan Burnett (“Deadshot”), associate producer of The Prestige Jordan Goldberg (“Field Test”), and A History of Violence screenplay writer Josh Olson (“Have I Got a Story For You”). Some of the stories could've used a little more time to turn into something special, but that's an inherent pitfall with doing any kind of anthology project. Still, for established fans it's cool to see Eastern takes on villains like Scarecrow, Killer Croc, and Deadshot, but seeing 5 different takes on the Batman costume (not even including the cutesy story with the kids' imaginations) adds another pinch of inconsistency that will either irritate you or tickle your proverbial nipples for some variety.

Despite being crafted for our McDonald's eatin' asses (that's a scary visual...), it looks like the characters' mouths were all animated to speak someone else's tongue, cuz those lips move like nothing even relating to what they're feeding our ears. Maybe somebody should've told the Japanese directors that the movie was being dubbed in English instead of just using random mouth animations. It still just feels so right hearing Kevin Conroy behind the Dark Knight again! Artistically, the cityscapes are beautiful, while the characters are, well, a bit stylized. If you're looking for realistic people populating a realistic city, you're half right. If nothing else though, this movie is a perfect example of something to show any of your friends who insist that all anime looks the same. On the down side though, the jumps in style can be a little off-putting so if you like what you're looking at, it might not last. Then again, if you hate what you're looking at, you'll get to start over fresh in the next 10 or 15 minutes, so just relax.